Wile E Coyote and Why Commitment Creates Commitment

(My dad, long retired, on a birthday kayak ride. Birthdays (esp milestones), like retirement, can be transitions too.)

If you grew up in the US, you may remember the cartoon with Wile E Coyote and the Roadrunner. If you didn’t, here’s the premise: Wile E Coyote was always trying to catch the Roadrunner. He always failed. But, usually once per episode, there was this moment when Coyote had chased Roadrunner so fast that Coyote ran straight off a cliff. For a moment, he’d be suspended in the air over a massive canyon. He’d look back, see Roadrunner safely on firm ground, then look down, realize his predicament, and crash to the ground.

This is an apt analogy for what it feels like to have made a transition in your life, from one job to the next, from one city to the next, from one state of being to the next (single to married, working to retired, etc.), and then arrived.

You’ve been so focused on getting there that your body is totally unprepared for the actual arrival. It can feel like the ground fell out from underneath you.

I experienced that just a month ago in my own transition, my bi-annual migration between Florida and Maine, and many a time in big life transitions. I’ve seen clients experience it when going from one city to another, or when making the leap from employed to business owner.

It’s just so common.

So, what can we do about it?

Well, first, just recognize it. It happens to all of us. We are all Coyote.

Next, prepare a soft landing. Don’t try to climb Everest when you’re in the Coyote phase. Sleep a lot; eat healthy foods; get some gentle exercise; do things that make you feel good.

But then, and this is the thing that we often miss but makes such a big difference: Commit.

Look forward, not back. Dig into whatever you’ve chosen to focus your life and time on. If you’re in a new city, don’t completely focus on unpacking. Also get out there and meet new people. Find not just the grocery store (for the basics), but the farmer’s market (for a sense of community and a weekly rhythm). If you’re in a new job, don’t just get the computer running and prove yourself by contributing. Also get to know the people and the culture. Ask colleagues to coffee. Get curious about them, not just their work. If you’ve just retired, find something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have time and just do it. Figure the rest out later.

Committing doesn’t mean a capital C dive-deep commitment. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s made up of all the little things that turn a city into a home, a job into a place you belong, a new stage of life into something that fits like a glove. It means enjoying and embracing right where you are, right now. So don’t take this as a prompt to be changing the world. Rather, it’s a nudge to enjoy the world you’re in. Because a funny thing happens as you commit to this current reality…

Commitment creates commitment. The more you show up and embrace this new thing, not through tactics and logistics but through things like relationships, grounding activities, and curiosity, the more you feel like you’re in the right place. Before you know it, you’ll look back and that big gaping canyon you were suspended over, Coyote style, is barely even visible.