Getting Rid of the "Ick" Feeling of Being Stuck

I’m going to paint a few scenarios today:

You know you want something to be different in your life but you feel paralyzed about how to make it happen or what the next step is. Now, every time you think about this thing that is supposed to bring you so much delight, instead you get an icky feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Or, you have been stuck for a long time and then suddenly make a bold leap… you quit the job, buy the house in a new city, start the business. But instead of the pit in your stomach going away, it gets louder and burrows in as though it lives there.

Or, you’ve had this idea about change for a long time but it simply feels like a dream, not something that could actually be your life.

Do any of these resonate with you? They do with me. I’ve been there, all three, multiple times.

But thanks to my training in product design and the realization that I could apply those same techniques to my personal life, I’ve found a way to replace that icky or out-of-reach feeling with a feeling of excitement and curiosity. And momentum.

To thank? The most powerful tool in my designers’ toolkit: experimentation. Yes, the same methodology we used in science class in secondary school is the way through and out of the ick. Experimenting is the act of being hypothesis-driven and curiosity-minded about things you're trying to make happen. But not just one, big, lofty experiment. Instead, you get peace of mind and ick-removal by going through lots of little experiments, none with any great meaning, that together become a Squiggle of Experimentation. In sum, these experiments help you begin moving forward, first with tentative steps, and over time, with a sense of surety and confidence.

Experimenting is the act of being hypothesis-driven and curiosity-minded about things you're trying to make happen. But not just one, big, lofty experiment. In sum, a series of experiments helps you begin moving forward, first with tentative steps, and over time, with a sense of surety and confidence.

Here are three things that make great experiments:

1. They’re small

Like the Goldilocks parable, the best experiments answer just one, narrow question (e.g., if I move, how will I stay in touch with my family?), not big, lofty ones (e.g., what will my life be like if I move?). The latter is almost impossible to answer easily and certainly not possible to answer without actually moving. While the former you could easily learn about in a short stint away from home.

2. They’re easy to execute on

Good experiments are also simple: I like to encourage my clients to craft experiments they can learn from in a day, a week, or maximum a month. That is another natural forcing factor for scale of experimentation as well.

3. You hold them lightly

When I was a leader at global design firm IDEO and helping corporate clients to incubate new products and services, we used to create “sacrificial concepts.” These were early ideas that were deliberately designed for failure. Because they were sacrificial, when people would tell us what was wrong with them, we were able to hear their reflections through a lens of curiosity rather than defensiveness. The same principle holds true with your experiments on whatever you’re getting unstuck on. Make the early ones like the first pancake (low expectations) and you’re much more likely to get some really interesting insights from them. Continue to hold them lightly and you’ll continue to draw wisdom, not angst.

I’m curious (see what I did there), how does this resonate for you?