Combatting overwhelm in today's overwhelming environment

Recently, the New York Times ran an op-ed titled “There are almost too many things to worry about.”

There aren’t almost. There are.

Ukraine. Covid. Local politics. Global warming. Relationships suffering. Inflation-based stress. Gas prices. The article mentioned could have been about any of these. It happened to be about abortion.

The human brain wasn’t made to hold all so many intense things at once — especially ones we can’t easily do anything about. But, our modern technology has made it so not only can we know about them, we can get up-to-the-second updates about all of these things, all the time. 

No wonder we’re tired. 

I’m an expert in designing environments in which people can flourish (like the workplace), and I believe that flourishing in this environment requires us to make a conscious choice to care deeply about fewer things. It may sound counter-intuitive, but by choosing what we really care about, plus tweaking how we care, we’ll actually be able to make a bigger impact on the world. And get some relief for our weary brains.

You see, all of these things either trigger our empathy and compassion, or our rage and distress. And while all of those emotions are part of the normal spectrum of healthy human functioning, it’s been proven that they are not infinite: empathy and compassion, especially, are wells that can run dry. 

In fact, scientists have shown we have limited cognitive capacity in our days. And empathy, a form of cognitive exertion, requires effort. We all know this intuitively – at the end of the day versus in the morning, how quick and sharp are our decisions? How patient are our reactions to annoyances? Early in the day, we can often sail through tough decisions and have patience for our colleagues’ mistakes or annoying questions. Then we walk in the door at home at the end of the day, struggle to decide what’s for dinner, and snap at our families. 

So, if we know this on a daily, local level, it only scales.

We simply were not built to be able to care deeply about everything that’s falling apart around us. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. It means that we malfunction when we try to: we become exhausted, we look at real, human suffering and think “I can’t engage.” And how does that feel? 

We need a better way. I’d like to propose one.

Pick something and do something.

Let’s take those in turn. 

Pick something

Pick something you care about and can do something, however small, about. You may pick more than one thing, but probably three or so causes that you are invested in and can take action on are about as much as you (a human) can and should probably focus on.

Do something

Two things that are known to help us feel better when we’re overwhelmed are action and generosity (I learned the first from my decade at design firm IDEO and the second from studying meditation and social science). It follows that taking action to help others makes a difference not just to them but to us. So this part is the key: after you pick your focus, throw whatever muscle you have, however light, into making a difference. 

We see this with Ukraine: we are finding all kinds of ways to support Ukrainians, from retired nurses and vets who are engaging in defensive efforts, to small businesses who are donating a portion of their profits, to people offering literal pennies to combine with others’ donations. It doesn’t matter how big or small the act of support is, the fact that you’re acting that transforms this cause from something you solely worry about to something you’re doing something about. And we saw it in the 2020 U.S. federal elections, when more people than ever volunteered, campaigned, and voted. 

Put another way, taking action helps us go from edgy to empowered. It’s our own actions that create empowerment and increase our sense of flourishing. 

I’ve applied this over and over again with my clients, helping individuals and teams to identify what they care most about and to take action. It’s transformed their work lives. And personally, I’ve applied this to my own life with the same effect. 

Bonus: Actively add in lightness

Once you’ve picked something and taken action, make sure you’re also doing things that lift your soul: play, laugh, explore. This isn’t just good for us in the moment; play rejuvenates our creative brains. And with increased creativity, we’re more able to see possibilities and find new paths forward: things that will definitely help us be even more effective in the community-oriented actions we’ve committed to. 

If there are moments where it seems disingenuous to feel lightness when others are suffering, note that joy is an essential fuel for every one of us. In fact, I’m reminded as I type of the Ukrainian symphony orchestra who played music in the town center as the war raged on. It is not a luxury to have a moment of lightness: it’s critical. 

So that’s it: pick something, do something, add in lightness.

Of course, a desire to act doesn’t eliminate stumbling blocks: What organizations are legit and do good things with donations? Where do I volunteer? If I volunteer, will I be asked to take on more than I can handle? 

Here’s how I’ve navigated these: 

For donations, someone I trust has almost always done some legwork, and I piggyback on their work (I look to trusted public figures or engaged friends for advice). In the absence of that, I default to well-known aid organizations. (For Ukraine, there are several options I’ve trusted for donations, such as this, this, and this.)

For volunteering locally, I search online for causes I care about. Then I reach out and ask to learn more about the organization. A first conversation doesn’t need to equate to a commitment, and all organizations using volunteers will know this. Ask what their greatest needs and unmet gaps are. As you listen, consider how your skills could complement their work. While sometimes they’ll have a very clear ask for volunteers, it’s just as likely they’ll need more help but not have thought out exactly what that could look like. If time commitment is a concern, note that it’s perfectly okay (and very common) for people to join up as volunteers and only have a few hours to give. 

Another way to get involved locally is to show up at your local town/city council meeting. You’ll be able to learn what’s most critical for your jurisdiction, see how you might support, and meet folks engaged in local matters.

Above all, remember: our brains weren’t constructed to be able to hold all of the heaviness, all of the time. Picking a few things (or just one) and taking action (however small) can help immensely.

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