It's Cheesecake Factory's world, we're just living in it

The overwhelming Cheesecake Factory Menu. It’s bound. Like a book!

Have you ever been to the Cheesecake Factory? They’re a U.S. restaurant chain with a really head-scratching expansion map, but what they’re known for is the size of their menus, clocking in at 20+ pages.

A bit of advice: when you’re hungry, do not go to the Cheesecake Factory. When trying to pick from the menu, you will die of hunger or lash out in hanger (can I conjugate hangry in that way?)

I’ve read a lot of the research on how our brains work, and I’m convinced that our brains simply aren’t made for the Cheesecake Factory menu.

Our brains were made for Prix Fixe menus – you know the ones in French restaurants where you answer whether you want the meat, the fish, or the vegetarian option, and they then just bring you food.

I bring this up, because modern life, especially for those of us past the early parts of our careers and lives, can feel much like a Cheesecake Factory menu. If we want to make a change or forge a new path, there are so many options from which to choose.

This can easily get us stuck. Should I pick City A or Small Town B for the next chapter of my life? Should I look for a promotion where I am, pick a new company, or even start my own thing? Don’t even get me started on dating, and the perceived proliferation of available options.

So, given that it’s Cheesecake Factory’s world and we just live in it, what are we to do? Whether you’re deciding on dinner or where to take your career, figuring out what works for you doesn’t have to be fraught.

The first thing to know is this: there is no one right answer. Not at the Cheesecake Factory, and not in your big life decisions. That’s exactly what makes them hard. And in fact, that is the definition of a hard decision: one where more than one choice can be right but for different reasons.

So, with no one right decision, especially for big and important decisions like career, how do you proceed?

With my clients, I advise beginning here: for each of the attributes of your various options (e.g., living in Small Town B gives me access to the mountains, while Big City A means museums are handy), identify what’s the underlying need there. (If you need help, use this.)

Generally, those attributes are decoys for your core needs. For instance, the mountain access might be about finding a community with whom you connect, and museums down the road might really be about continual boosts of inspiration.

The magic comes in knowing you can meet those core needs in different ways in different places. Maybe that community could also come from volunteering at an animal shelter, if you lived in the city instead of the mountains. Or that inspiration could come from learning more about the flora and fauna in your nearby mountains, if you lived far from the city.

Give it a go and let me know what’s revealed for you. And who knows, maybe this could also help you choose between the chicken parm and the fajitas!